"In the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman." 1 Corinthians 11:11
God has intended marriage to be our most intimate relationship here on earth. We are to be united to our spouse so deeply that whatever affects one will affect the other. Because we are so closely bound to our husbands we should strive to make it easy for them to love us. The beauty of this relationship is that we don’t lose our own uniqueness but rather we use our uniqueness to help our husband. In order to experience oneness and intimacy with our husbands we need to get to know them and allow them to know us. God created the act of sex to bring husband and wives together into one flesh physically. God designed sex to be intimate and pleasurable. We are not to rob our spouse in this area. The goal of sex is serving, loving, and helping your husband and treasuring your oneness. Even in our differences we can blend our desires and voice together to praise God and bring Him glory.
When first married my focus was to do my husband good. I was nice and helpful and anxious to do anything to please him. After 14 years of marriage I have settled into a comfortable place where I have forgotten to be nice. It's not like I intend to be mean, but I know he loves me so my tone of voice can be harsh and rough. I no longer greet him with a smile at the door, but instead allow the children to swarm him when he comes in. This chapter was a good reminder for me, I want to make it easy for my husband to love me. Christ is so easy for me to love, He is so gracious and tender to me. I long to be tender and gracious as Christ is.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Chapter Five ~ What God Has Joined Together
"A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife in such that a way that the two become one person." Genesis 2:24
Marriage is two lives, each leaving behind their former selves and uniting to become one new person. Husbands and wives are told to leave their father and mother and cleave to one another. Husbands are to leave behind the submission to their parents authority and wives are to acknowledge that she now has a new authority. As wives we need to guard against anything that would separate us from our husband. We need to seek to please our spouse and focus our energy on our relationship with him.
Every relationship here on earth is marked by impermanence. The only permanent relationship we have is with Christ, our heavenly Husband. Because of this relationship, we leave our primary family behind and cleave to the husband He has given us in this life, as a illustration of the way the church clings to Christ.
"As a wife, you are now to identify yourself with your husband and his interests, instead of the interests of your childhood family." p 83 This means I give up camping, I give up the desire to live in the country, I give up any desires that don't match my husbands. Wow! It means I die to self for the benefit of my husband. How do I do this? I desperately need Christ to work in me, to change my heart, and give me an attitude of humility. It is only through Christ that I have any hope to be the wife He wants me to be.
Marriage is two lives, each leaving behind their former selves and uniting to become one new person. Husbands and wives are told to leave their father and mother and cleave to one another. Husbands are to leave behind the submission to their parents authority and wives are to acknowledge that she now has a new authority. As wives we need to guard against anything that would separate us from our husband. We need to seek to please our spouse and focus our energy on our relationship with him.
Every relationship here on earth is marked by impermanence. The only permanent relationship we have is with Christ, our heavenly Husband. Because of this relationship, we leave our primary family behind and cleave to the husband He has given us in this life, as a illustration of the way the church clings to Christ.
"As a wife, you are now to identify yourself with your husband and his interests, instead of the interests of your childhood family." p 83 This means I give up camping, I give up the desire to live in the country, I give up any desires that don't match my husbands. Wow! It means I die to self for the benefit of my husband. How do I do this? I desperately need Christ to work in me, to change my heart, and give me an attitude of humility. It is only through Christ that I have any hope to be the wife He wants me to be.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Chapter Four ~ Here, Dear, Have a Bite
"There is none righteous, not even one...together they have become useless." Romans 3:10,12
When Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit they brought sin into God's perfect world. When God questioned them they tried to blame someone else for their actions. God did not allow them to escape what they had done. They were both responsible for their own sin and they both suffered the consequences for that sin. Today we fall into the same temptations. We can be tempted to follow our own way of doing things, instead of doing things God's way. Then, when we are shown our folly we can blame others for our behavior. As wives, we can be tempted to lead out husbands, instead of allowing him to lead us. We can be tempted to manipulate and control instead of help. But just as Adam and Eve received mercy in the promise of a Redeemer, we have a Savior who has come, not only to save us from God's wrath, but to transform our hearts!
"Our first parents declared their independence from God's wisdom and sought to center their moral compass on the black hole of man's opinion. In doing so, they tried to usurp God's unique right to differentiate between the clean and unclean. Only the Lord, in His infinite knowledge, wisdom, and holiness, is qualified to distinguish between good and evil." p 66
It is so important for me to be in God's word. How else will I know Him? It is a storehouse of wisdom written so that I might know His will. There are so many influences and opinions in the world, that unless I am deep in God's Word, I will be easily swayed into believing the lies of Satan. Lord, may I be close to You that I would know Your heart.
When Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit they brought sin into God's perfect world. When God questioned them they tried to blame someone else for their actions. God did not allow them to escape what they had done. They were both responsible for their own sin and they both suffered the consequences for that sin. Today we fall into the same temptations. We can be tempted to follow our own way of doing things, instead of doing things God's way. Then, when we are shown our folly we can blame others for our behavior. As wives, we can be tempted to lead out husbands, instead of allowing him to lead us. We can be tempted to manipulate and control instead of help. But just as Adam and Eve received mercy in the promise of a Redeemer, we have a Savior who has come, not only to save us from God's wrath, but to transform our hearts!
"Our first parents declared their independence from God's wisdom and sought to center their moral compass on the black hole of man's opinion. In doing so, they tried to usurp God's unique right to differentiate between the clean and unclean. Only the Lord, in His infinite knowledge, wisdom, and holiness, is qualified to distinguish between good and evil." p 66
It is so important for me to be in God's word. How else will I know Him? It is a storehouse of wisdom written so that I might know His will. There are so many influences and opinions in the world, that unless I am deep in God's Word, I will be easily swayed into believing the lies of Satan. Lord, may I be close to You that I would know Your heart.
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